I’ve realised today that I’m in the self awareness stage of recovery.
I’m aware of my traits in people pleasing, as psychcentral says:
Self-acceptance means that you don’t have to please everyone for fear that they won’t like you. You honor your needs and unpleasant feelings and are forgiving of yourself and others. This goodwill toward yourself allows you to be self-reflective without being self-critical. Your self-esteem and confidence grow, and consequently, you don’t allow others to abuse you or tell you what to do. Instead of manipulating, you become more authentic and assertive, and are capable of greater intimacy.
In being real with myself and admitting that I don’t have to please everyone, I break the cycle of choosing to please other people over myself. I break the cycle of choosing to deny my own needs in order to please others.
It feels terrible, and there’s a knot in my stomach because I perceive the people I’m not pleasing may hate me. That’s a horrible feeling!
The alternative would be to give into the demands of others, be manipulated and not receive love – just resent myself.
Self love is a much better choice!