Road to Recovery: Abstinence

The road to recover is often times a very difficult and challenging one.

My addiction is people pleasing, not just ordinary people though, but those whom I could never please.

What a nasty situation that is – I can never please these people and yet I am addicted to trying to please them!

I read last night that the best way to break free is abstinence.

It’s so true, the only way to break the cycle is to break the cycle!

I feel as though I want to people please, particularly with one person whom I feel as though I have wronged by standing my ground and going to therapy on dates that I can make. If I shift to alternative dates, I won’t be able to make my therapy and therefore not find the healing and support I need to break codependency.

If I give in and suggest going to alternative dates, I’ll regret it because I won’t be able to make those dates, or worse still, enter into a bind whereby I’d have to keep updating this person, and them me, on our whereabouts.

It sounds so silly, but the situation can not be appeased, and I can not win favour with this person, so pleasing them in order to be liked isn’t the answer!

I have to think about my needs first, particularly because in this case, if I don’t think of my needs, it will be damaging to myself!

So so I choose to abstain from people pleasing despite the crazy weird feeling it gives me, the knot in my stomach and the dizziness in my head.

I know the wound that causes me to do this is in the past, and these pain symptoms are actually that wound hurting, because I’m not medicating it with people pleasing today, so the wound of the past stings.

But where wounds sting, they’re being healed, right?

 

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