I had a very strange dream, which I want to offer the interpretation of for myself.
I was in my Mums house, and stood before my brother. He kept saying he knew who I was, my Mum kept responding “Do you, really?”
I noticed I had a blue towel wrapped around my naked body, I confronted my brother and asked “Do you really know me?”
I took the towel off and stood naked, my brother moved instantly behind me.
In front of me stood a man dressed in black assassin robes, his face was partially covered in a black cloth, behind him a judge sat at a desk.
The assassin said something about wanting to change time, but the judge refused, so the assassin pulled out two curved swords from his back.
I warned the assassin to put them away but he advanced towards me. I chopped him up with a blunt weapon until he was in a million small pieces.
I have been thinking about this dream for a while, hoping God(my higher power) would give me an interpretation, and it only dawned on me last night.
My Mum represents my past and my behaviour patterns, learned in childhood.
My brother represents Jesus (my higher power).
The assassin represents my past and those who would make me dwell on my mistakes (it has the potential to hound me).
The judge represents my higher power (Jesus).
The blue towel represents my masking my pain and real self, covering my naked self with spirituality and a facade.
My past (Mum) would hide behind the mask, trying to throw off anyone from really knowing me, hiding behind behaviours and thought patterns that hid the pain of my past (codependency is one of the behaviour traits that cause me to mask pain through seeking love and affirmation in order to soothe my soul pain).
My brother, representing Jesus (my higher power), knew me. Despite me masking myself with spirituality “I’m forgiven, I’m free I’m filled with joy” etc, Jesus could see through it all. He knew that underneath it all I am wretched and poor and naked. He could see the real, struggling me!
So when I decided to open myself and be real, suddenly I was faced with the assassin, the pain of my past.
The pain of my past, if not controlled and healed, has the power to destroy me.
The judge, representing authority (my only judge, my higher power, Jesus) refused to allow time to be changed. Time can not be rolled back, time can not be fast forwarded. I can only live in the moment and the person I am to be will be defined by the actions I take today, not my past.
The assassin wants me to live in my past, but Jesus will not allow this. I believe the assassin represents those in my life, who have left my life and who may come back in, who want me to dwell in the pain of my past.
My higher power, Jesus, says NO!
So in submitting to my higher power, the power of the assassin, who wants to kill my progression into healing by forcing me to focus on my past, will be destroyed!