The first time I heard the term symbiosis was in a computer game, “Crysis 2.”
The main character, Alcatraz, is connected symbiotically to his military weapon, a suit that has bonded to his body. As soon as the suit is torn off, he’d die, so in becoming one with the suit, his life was bound forever destined to be in line with the control of the suit.
Alcatraz is a symbolic name, taken from the maximum security prison in America, the impounded will never leave, not know where they are, and the prison itself is surrounded by an ocean, so should an escape happen, there really isn’t anywhere to go!
The suit soon takes over Alcatraz’s consciousness and even his personality and appearance changes toward the end of the game’s series, according to the suits will.
What does symbiosis have to do with relationships?
It was during my first counselling session that I heard the term, a psychic connection between two people. At first it seems powerful. It’s as if I’ve known the person all my life.
Psychically, I have!
Let me explain.
Symbiotic relationships form over a deep part from the soul. So when I meet someone and immediately I feel as though I know them, or there is an air of familiarity about them, my flags are up!
The thing is about the soul resonance with another, is as well as having the potential to be a great bond, the soul can also harbour deep wounds from the past. So the bond has the potential to be out of a deep wound too.
If the relationship begins, based on a symbiotic connection from a wound, it has great potential to become highly toxic.
How do I know if a symbiotic connection is from a wound?
Often there will be an overemphasis on “the relationship.” It’s almost as if the focus is on “us.”
What’s our status?
Wasn’t it great last week?
Do you remember when we kissed here for the first time last month, two months ago..?
Today is our third month anniversary.
Do you remember when we first met? What did you like about me?
These things in an of themselves are good, but when the relationship becomes bound to these types of statements and conversations all the time, that’s a red flag that a symbiotic relationship has formed out of a wound and codependency builds fast.
The relationship takes a turn as the wound in the soul begins to fester in the toxic environment, through lack of nurturing and ruminating on the past. Lack of growth and stimulation turns to resentment and longing for more.
Left for a longer period, old behaviour patterns begin to emerge:
Arguing over small things
These mask the actual pain underneath that’s been opened up.
There are tonnes of material available on youtube and in google search results for toxic relationships. In almost all of these relationships, I’ve learned that one or both partners are looking to feed the need that wasn’t met in the initial infliction of the wound over which they’ve bonded.
Do they both have Daddy issues?
Were they both ignored as a child?
Was Mum controlling?
Did they have a massive identity crisis when they were young?
If so, within the familiarity of the symbiotic relationship, the soul will try to get the needs met that it lacked when it was a child, from the relationship, and so it turns toxic!
I myself recognise now that 90% of my relationships (figure plucked from the air) have been symbiotically formed over a wound. There’s only been one that wasn’t and I let her go because I grew bored to tell the truth, but I will cover that in another blog post.
It’s easy for codependents to become addicted to “drama,” and symbiotic relationships formed over a wound tend to be drama filled. It’s almost like our drug, but now I know the warning signs I can avoid these types of relationships (friendship or other) like the plague.