I watched a YouTube video this morning, from a relationship coach.
He was talking about why people find it hard to let go of an ex – people who keep ruminating in the back of their mind, seeing reminders of them and being triggered… wondering what their ex is doing, eating for lunch, how they’re getting on with their day…
For normal people this might last a little while, but for people like me it goes on… longer!
So I already knew I had some attachment issues from my past. Dad abandoned the home abruptly, mum was absent, my brother and sister didn’t include me and so it went on.
My emotions were neglected or not validated and I soon learned it was as if I didn’t exist.
I’d developed an attachment disorder, so when my ex left my life, and the one before that, I developed somewhat of an obsession, wondering if they were alright… wondering if I should check up on them to see if they’re ok…
All this comes from the attachment wound. It’s not even about my ex…
It’s about dad! It’s about mum!
It’s about the family members whom I couldn’t attach to.
I was projecting this wound onto my ex!
The coach said it will take a lot of mental power to redirect the attachment disorder onto the people I wish I had an attachment with.
What a fitting video for today – today I’m meeting Dad, who had disowned me over 2 years ago and I’m hoping for forgiveness and reconnection.
Hopefully this will be the beginning of a change and I can begin healing the wound that was opened.