A while back I saw a vision in which I was welcomed by a voice into a castle. I ran across the draw bridge and it closed behind me.
The same voice said “stay here, don’t venture out.”
It was soon after that I realised I was codependent and I needed to strengthen my boundaries and work on myself.
A year before I saw a vision of my self standing on top a castle tower and all around there was sand that shifted. I was safe and secure in the tower.
Recently I saw a vision where I was sat on steps in a throne room, behind me was a white throne, ahead of me were white pillars and the entrance to the room was filled with light.
My higher power, Jesus, was with me.
I know I’m building strength and growing as I work on myself, my thoughts, attitudes, my emotions and spiritual wellbeing, all represented by the buildings and castles in the visions.
The castle has evolved over time, as my own understand of my self and submission to my higher power, Jesus, has increased.
My inner self is no longer a dilapidated house, which I saw in a previous vision at the beginning of this year, but it’s now a throne room in which Jesus is enthroned in my life and I am safe, sitting on the white steps at his feet.
In this place I feel secure, safe and able to stand with my vision, values and virtues.
When people come and through their attitudes, words and actions, I feel compelled to enter into a codependent relationship, I can take a step back. Step into my inner castle within my self and remind myself who I am, what I stand for and how far I’ve come in healing and self awareness.
Too far to go back into a toxic trauma bonded relationship.
Instead, my guard is up, I recognise when people are gathering information to use against me – they’re interested in my pain, fears and anxiety as opposed to just wanting to get to know me and talk about the present.
My dad, unfortunately, is one who uses my own words against me to force me into a child like codependency upon him. I resisted to play into it and stood my ground, I didn’t give into the old pattern of “oh yeah, help please, I can’t trust myself I need you to help.”
I’m a man, I am safe. I know my mind. I can trust from my place of safety within my own castle.